That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
