Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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