There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
