Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
