I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
No I am not eating basil off your cock
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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