You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
this will be a night to untag.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
