when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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