I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He had one of those small greek statue penises
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed