we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot