Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts