Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.