theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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