my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
