Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We have so much sex to catch up on
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's shark week go big or go home
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
