He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
