do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
dude. I can hear the air.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize