i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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