I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
