My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
