if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
