Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
birth control should be required to get into college
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
