Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize