idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
