Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
