i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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