she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
