I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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