belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
