You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
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Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize