Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
