I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
