belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Do you still have your period?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
