Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
