you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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