I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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