She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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