i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
