Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
