But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
