i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
