do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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