I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
