She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
