He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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