College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
