in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
