Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
