So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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