Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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