he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
