sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
