Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
