did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
try to milk me bitch
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