Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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