Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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