I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
