Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
third nipple confirmed
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
