Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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