you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize